A Lesson Continually Learned

And sometimes it just takes a little reminding.

Brooklyn buds on the way to the subway.

Hi Friends,

Last week I was interviewing a choreographer I greatly admire and she said something I wasn’t expecting, and that I didn’t realize I needed to hear in this moment. She told me about a time when she was doubting herself; she felt like a total failure. But then she realized that regardless of all the outside circumstances affecting her life she had the power to decide if she wanted to be a joyful person, or someone who gave up her happiness to things outside her control. She chose joy and has been doing it ever since.

Of course, this idea of owning your inner happiness and refusing to let your emotions or self-worth be controlled by circumstance wasn’t new to me. But there was something about this young choreographer’s total conviction and commitment to this philosophy of living that struck a deeper chord in me. I really believe she has been able to commit to her inner joy - it practically exudes from her.

It was if I just needed to be reminded that the choice even exists. I’ve been operating in a kind of auto-pilot mode set to productivity. Just getting through my to-do list and feeling on edge and uninspired about pretty much everything.

I wanted to share this small experience in this space because, maybe you need to be reminded too. It’s easy to get caught up in all the chaos around us, and as empathetic individuals it’s also extremely easy to feel so much anxiety in our world today. But we can also give ourselves permission to be joyous if we want to be. No prerequisites needed.

As a beautiful spring weekend is just on the horizon I figured I would share a few lovely links to ease out the work week and a few updates of things that have been happening in my life…

• Amy Tan’s new book The Backyard Bird Chronicles was gifted to me from my parents and it’s inspiring me to get out my nature journal and sketch again (something I had stopped doing about a year ago.) Not only does this book include Amy’s beautiful sketches of common birds we may all too easily ignore in our daily lives, but also her expertly written and eloquent journal entries as she takes us down the path of her backyard bird-observing obsession. I am now obsessed with this book.

• I decided to get back on Instagram this week as I needed an account for a class I am taking and, even though I am still hesitant about the whole thing, I figured this may be an opportune moment to try it again. It may sound a bit strange, but I feel rejoining is sort of like taking my power back in the space. While I cannot guarantee this will last long you can find me @heathernoelletoner.

• While setting up the aforementioned Instagram account I was served up the Mother The Mountain account and fell down the typical instagram rabbit hole as I watched their incredibly beautiful videos featuring ducks and goats that live on their Australian rainforest farm. Their content is a feast for the soul of a city-dweller like me.

• Whenever I’m traveling I like to check out local yarn stores. They function as a sort of berometer of the place for me. If a town has a good yarn store it’s probably a nice place to stay for a while. Such is the case with Camden, Maine. I visited The Cashmere Goat in this picturesque little town last fall and have been on their email list ever since. And, while they very much lean into being a resource and beacon of crafting for their locals, I’ve found that they are a fabulous shop to order from and engage with even from afar. I was amazed to learn that I won one of the prizes from their Local Yarn Store day raffle last weekend and they shipped me a collection of gorgeously soft and squishy mini-skeins! They included a sticker declaring my status as a “Remote Goat,” creating a sense of belonging even from Brooklyn. If you like yarn be sure to check them out!

Be well!